Wavering

I tend to find myself at a crossroads between my thoughts and my heart. Most of the times they tend to agree with one another. But on occasions when my mind wanders out into perilous waters, I begin to lose control of my thoughts. And they sink in the vast deep sea of emotions that drown me. Drown my heart into not feeling.  I know, I am well aware of the riptides that try to pull at me. And at my best, I can stand strong against those waves. The ones trying to pull me in. But it is in the quiet moments of despair, when I can no longer stand it, I drift away.

New, New, New!

New beginnings, new friends, and new memories!

I don't ever think I deserve the amount of blessings that the Lord freely gives me. And for that reason alone, I am always humbled by His unconditional love. Well first things first, It's March of 2015! I graduate in less than 4 weeks! I don't know where the time goes. But like every great story there must be an end, but luckily for me I have another book being written & this one won't end! :)

New beginnings are refreshing and exciting and I can't wait to embark on my new beginning with my fiance! Thaaaat's right, preparations for a marriage is in full effect and will come to an end this July! I'm scared and excited for this new adventure God has prepared for Amu & I. Oh yeaaah that's my beau's name! Aaaaand this is what you've been waiting for...a peep show. No worries, you'll see more of him soon, I promise.

New friends are wonderful, they bring new perspective to your life and make you wonder what the heck have you been doing without them in your life!? LOL really tho! My time at BYUH IS one of the greatest blessings of my life. I feel so tied to the community, I want to stay forever and give back. Who knows maybe Amu might reconsider my proposal ;) Wishful thinking. Ehhhh but if there's one thing I cannot deny is that I feel at HOME here. Hawaii has this amazing effect on you, specifically Laie. I gotta say, if you ever get a chance just raise your family here. Not bad at all. A little slow, but with the world moving so fast, you might just want that for your family.  I will surely miss everyone here when I finally have to say my goodbyes. Ugh, I won't talk about it. 

New memories flash in my mind's eye as I think about all the events that have occurred up until now. I can't help but feel so happy and lucky. When I close my eyes I see the faces of my parents two Christmas' ago. I see my nanny, the last time I touched her, kissed her, and told her I loved her. I see my sisters who love to play around. I see my brothers teasing one another. And now I have new memories. A new face, Nala! She lights up our world with her animated personality. I see Amu and my heart skips a beat because for the first time in my life I feel whole. 

I don't know what's going to happen next, but I am ready for it! I'm ready for more new beginnings, new friends, and new memories. 

Update...with Pictures!

I feel horrible! It's been a month since I've updated my blog :'( Very, very sad!

Since then so much has happened! I'll just post pictures so you can just see :)
Love you, see you in my prayers.

Some of the PCC Alumni! So honored to meet them (I totally forgot their names smh) But they were awesome!

Aunty Olataga Masiasomua Togamau; My angel on earth :) She's such a wonderful missionary! 

She loves to hold my hand :) 

I swear they're the cutest couple! Them after the closing fireside for the PCC Reunion 

Me & Loren lol We were trying our exfoliating mask ha!

I absolutely love these girl, Larris & Laina

As you can see, we were having too much fun with the camera. Especially this one with her own selfie smh! LOL!

So I eat pretty good here lol! Just some of the food that I eat here in Hawaii ;)

I've been bruising myself! Waaaah! I have no idea how I got any of these. I swear I'm so accident prone!
Don't mind my leg hairs! hahaha

Samoan Chapter Games!

Practicing my photography skills...NOT! I just really love my Hello Kitty sunglasses ^_^

Sis. Seto! I actually seen Bro. & Sis. Seto at my orientation for McDonalds! LOL! I love this woman, she's such an inspiration!

I've been dancing too :)

I haven't really had the opportunity to take a lot of pictures, but when I do I will post them.

So far school is great. It's challenging & it's keeping me busy! I don't have much time, but know that I have a testimony that the Church of Jesus is Christ of Latter-day Saints is true. I feel the Savior's love for me in the little miracles that occur in my life everyday. I know that this is where Heavenly Father wants me to be at this moment & time. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm so grateful to be apart of this work. I love you.

Count your blessings

Hiyeeeeee! Lol Just want to start off by saying that I don't deserve it, but Heavenly Father continues to bless me & I will always be in debt to Him.

So lately I've been feeling kinda sluggish & unproductive...BUT not to be mistaken with lazy. I just feel like I'm useless. I'm used to working, going to school, or just doing something. I have to do be doing something or I feel like a total loser. Since I've been here, I've been on vacation mode. lol This island life can get to you & then you're just sloooow motion & don't want to do a thing. haha But I have been looking for work! It's just the waiting process to find out from the employer is a drag. -_- I wish I had availability for the Bobby Benson position because that would've been perfect for me! But God has a plan for me, so I'll just stick to it.

I know, I know. You're thinking okaaaay...this is leading to what? Well, I applied at PCC my first week out here. I got the audition like a day or two after & nooooow (Drum Roll) I got a spot. Baby steps, baby steps. Just trying to be patient. I hate that I'm impatient...most of the time. But I'm excited. Orientation is tomorrow & Thursday so YAY me for keeping busy!

I also walked to McDonalds (right next to PCC, literally) and I got an application there...I filled it out, turned it in & they said they'd call me for an interview. At this point, any job will do. I just need to find one, make money, save, & doing what I do best, make MONEY! Lol Oh yes, of course & go to school & study hard. LOL!

I'm excited as to what life has in store for me. I'm grateful to be a part of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I'm trying to count my blessings rather than counting my troubles. It is hard, but I can do it.

Just Pictures...

My niece Cumorah! Idk what her last name is so I didn't put it :) LOL

This little fool soaking up the ...SAND!  lol!

Me & Leo post beach! He is something else. Lol

Busy, busy...NOT!

My shoes!

So I figure I post at 6ish so that I can finish before 9 pm (12 am Cali time) Ehhh! Where do I start?

WEDNESDAY 

Fetu came to pick me & Siulia up so we could go...SHOPPING! We went to the swap meet at the Aloha Stadium (I don't know where that is) Then we went to Kaneohe to ROSS & did more shopping. It was fun. I really like hanging out with those two ladies. I bought my awesome Nike shoes! Lol I don't remember much after that...I think we came home & dyed Siulia's hair again?

Picture from our day of shopping

THURSDAY 

I don't remember anything from this day! Seriously, it's like a total blur! SHAME!

FRIDAY

I didn't do much...I think haha! Well I remember going to PCC's Night Show with Fetu & her kids. It was cool we didn't sit too far from the stage. But it was far enough where I couldn't make out the faces of the dancers. Maybe that was a good thing. I did see Michellae. I seen her in the Tahitian section. That was cute. lol We came home & I think I knocked out right away!

SATURDAY 

I stayed home with Aunty Ola & just did nothing til song practice. I lie, I did nothing, she was busy sewing for the events coming up this week. Ha! Well I was productive right before song practice. I helped Uncle Tofae peel the bananas...some of them. It was cool, but I rather not anymore because it really did make my fingers gross & I don't like that. I had to rub my hands with oil to get the sticky crap from the bananas off the tip of my fingers. Gross!

So our song practice was at the Cannon Activities Center at BYU & it was pretty AWESOME! Not our song practice, but to be in the CAC haha! For some reason we SUCKED...badly when we practiced. It was horrible & I was starting to worry about how we were going to actually sound on the day of...smh.

Well at least the food was good. No, let me rephrase that. It was B O M B. There are no words to describe how amazing the food was. Okay so here was the menu:

MAIN ENTREE: pisupo, sapasui, pupu chicken, brisket & luau (I think that's how you spell it, it's like palusami but it's corn beef instead?) Idk. Anyways yeah crazy right!?

 

 

SIDE DISHES: Fa'i, taro, rice. I think I ate almost everything. Or at least I tried! Haha My eyes were definitely bigger than my stomach. When I got home from that night I totally planked on my bed.

SUNDAY, Fun Day!

Got ready for church, went to church. The end! Haha Okay well it went somehting like that. Haha!

So as far as church goes,  I only like sacrament meeting & Relief Society because I get to sit with Aunty Ola. Man, I never knew how alone I'd still feel. Church isn't the same anymore. I'm so used to looking down our whole bench & seeing the whole family. I took that for granted because I was so used to it. I can't wait to be with them again.

But one thing that's so beautiful about our gospel is that it's the same EVERYWHERE! & for that I am grateful. I guess that keeps me close to everyone at home while I'm out here.

Sooooo my Sunday School teacher doesn't wear shoes -_- & he's palagi & he wears an ie fai taga & he has like a fobbish accent...BUT he's WHITE...maybe I'm just being mean. It's just weird to me because I'm not used to white people being like that. White people are just, white haha! Maybe he served his mission in Samoa? I don't know it's just weird to me.

I think I need to be more social...I go to church & I'm a freaking mute. Lol I just smile as people pass by & stare at me like I'm a freaking alien. LOL! Seriously tho. I'm used to knowing everyone in my ward & them knowing me but I'm like a lost sheep who's gone far, far away from the field. I kinda like it tho. No one knows me, I don't know anyone. It's kinda cool being the mysterious one. The different one.

Our YSA sucks balls. Seriously! I miss the IE YSA...I think they need help. Or maybe it's because everyone else goes to the single's ward? Who knows?

Later Sunday, we went to CAC again to meet with our choir before the fireside began!

This is the only good picture because I was recording the music! Sorry "/

Okay, there are no words to describe how beautiful the musical fireside was. Every choir had a beautiful arrangement of a hymn, a primary song, or a church related song. It was AMAZEballs! I was so swept away by the Children's Choir & the Tongan Choir. So beautiful, it made me tear up! :)

During the fireside I just kept thinking, man I'm so lucky to be apart of all of this. It's a true blessing & I don't think you could experience this anywhere else...well maybe you could, but I'm just saying that's incredible it was. I totally felt the spirit yesterday night.

Aaaaaand of course there were REFRESHMENTS! I never attend a Fireside if they don't have any hahaha. jk But it was amazing! They had fruit drinks (Literally, juices with fruits mixed in them) and they had banana bread, kopai (spell check) & tahitian bread! They had plenty for EVERYONE! I'm not sure how many were there, but the entire CAC was full!

We got home & our house was full of these musicians! It was nice, but me & Aunty Tu'i  went to her friends house & kicked it there. It was cool. I just listened to all the folks talk about their days at PCC. It's nice to hear their personal experiences & how much they enjoyed it!

MONDAY

Beach day! We walked to the beach behind Fetu & Api's house. It was beautiful! I know I got super dark. -_- But who cares, I'll go back to Cali to get lighter during the winter time haha!

Beach day with the Nakauciri boys :)

I was planning on going to school so I could get my ID, but school was closed. So I'll go there tomorrow. Hopefully Aunty Ella can get me a job! *Crossing my fingers*